Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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