Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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