he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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