just come out here and I will go home with you...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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