Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
