Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
