I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
