...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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