Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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