I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
