These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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