dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
