was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
FUCK WHALES
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
