Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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