Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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