this just has baby written all over it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
