If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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