So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
