Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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