Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

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(630): View more from Illinois

Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that

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(907): View more from Alaska

Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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(904): View more from Florida

Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.

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(810): View more from Michigan

He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away

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(212): View more from New York

You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself

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