ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
