Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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