yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
