We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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