Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize