the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
