Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
