we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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