Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
