Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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