dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
