Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just cropdusted the office
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
