Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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