In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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