I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
