I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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