yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
