Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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