i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
