That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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