Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
