ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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