vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
