yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am mentally ready for anal.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
