I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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