i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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