in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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