we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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