there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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