Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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