if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
