my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
