Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
