He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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