I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize