so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
honey bunches of taint.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
