Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize