im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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