he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
