I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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