Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
