thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize