Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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