Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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