ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
