She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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