he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize