I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
