ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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