Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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