We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
