dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
