The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
